Formals, Tea, and an Epic Bike Ride

That Monday morning after the ropes course I was put out for the whole day. The bursitis in my knees flared up to a whole new level I have never experienced before. I couldn't stand up out of bed after I woke up and every movement was painful. I wrote kind of a pitiful essay about it for Travel Writing. It is only at it's rough draft stage right now. 

Negative Consequences to Unexpected Hikes

When I woke up, the pain in my knees was so intense I couldn't stand up. My thoughts went back to just a few hours before. The rain fell constantly making a pitter patter on my squeaky umbrella. My shoes were sloshing with water rubbing my feet raw. It was so dark, I couldn't see more than two feet ahead of me, and cars sped by dangerously close.

I had gone to Thetford Forest to do a ropes course with five strangers from my summer school program. The thrills of obstacles high up in the trees was culminated with a really long zip-line ride to the forest floor. Our little group had a peaceful picnic when the rain began to fall softly, foreshadowing a miserable seven-mile hike.

The effects of this unplanned seven-mile hike kept me in bed for the next half hour. I finally swung my legs over the edge of my bed and lifted myself half-way up with my arms, and forced myself all the way upright. The pain was staggering and I almost gave up to fall back into bed. I stumbled to my desk and slumped in my chair.

My thoughts turned back to the night before. We had had missed our taxicabs that were to take us back into Thetford. There was no way we could have known that they would be blocked from coming into the forest by a gate. We scrambled for cellphone service and called a couple cab companies. I prayed silently that someone would be able to come and get us.

"All the cabs are booked for the night. I guess we'll have to walk"

"How many miles?"

"Six or seven."

"We'll miss our bus!"

I was right of course, but my companions chose to cling onto hope. The whole walk back, I dreaded being stranded in Thetford with no way back into Cambridge, or worse, that we would be stranded in the forest. We tried to flag down some cars to point us towards Thetford. Nobody stopped. "These Englishmen are cold" I thought to myself. Finally a kind man stopped and told us we were walking the wrong way, and so we turned around for the long journey back into town. We missed our 11:30pm bus by an hour, and we had to wait in the rain until another bus came at 2am.

My mind returned to the present as I tried to stand up again. The pain in my knees and the frustration of canceling all my plans for the day as a result reduced me to hot strained tears. I was supposed to walk to Grantchester and swim in Lord Byron's pool. I was supposed to go to Fitzwilliam Museum to admire preraphaelite paintings. But the flareup of my Bursitis reduced my mobility enough that using the toilet was a huge undertaking.

I couldn't help at being frustrated by the unproductive day that awaited me. However, the thought of taking it easy was a happy thought considering the hard weeks of school that had just passed. I limped slowly back into bed and somehow managed to smile as I drifted back to sleep.

So, needless to say, that long weekend was absolutely useless. Everyone got back from their fabulous journeys bragging about what a great time they had. I wrote another pitiful essay about that. Again, it's only a rough draft so far.

A Walk through Cambridge

In the style of Charles Dickens

First let me introduce myself negatively. I love to be around people but sometimes I become irrationally annoyed by them and I self isolate. When I'm in this mode of self-isolation, all my dark memories and self doubts attack pound at my head until I feel completely dragged down and warn out. I was at a church activity after a particularly hard and lonely weekend in Cambridge. All my friends were talking about how wonderful their weekend trips were. I felt painfully jealous of their amazing vacations, and I also felt a little left out. I had managed not to get invited to a single vacation, and I never feel comfortable inviting myself. Feeling dejected, I left the activity early and started to walk home to Bodley's court.

I knew that as soon as I reached Bodley's court, I would feel sit around and do nothing, so I decided to follow an alleyway that I had never gone down before. It walked by the old Senate House and parked myself on stairs looking at a gate to Caius Court down Senate House Passage. Various Cambridge wondered by and I delved into the inescapable labyrinth of self doubts in my mind. Why hasn't anyone invited me on their excursions? Did I do something wrong? Do any of the other BYU kids even consider me a friend?

Let me now introduce myself positively. I often have a child-like sense of adventure and wonder. As I got up again and continued walking, every old building I walked by elated my sense of wonderment and romance. Every open window revealed only bits of the mysteries of what lied beyond. I walked by Trinity and Clare College and reveled what a beautiful part of town that I had stumbled across. I found a side gate into King's Collage and to my delight my key opened it. I stopped under King's chapel and looked up its tall stone walls. I touched its rough stone and let the spirit of this old beautiful building elate me. What a beautiful place I live in. I walked down the side of King's and found two benches donated in the name of some scholars who had left this world. I sat down and watched the Canadian geese clumsily crash land in the lawn and waddle about. I have always loved animals, and these clumsy geese made me chuckle. I had to walk through the flock on my way back to Bodley's. I was careful not to scare them and they delighted me by looking at me sideways and squawking. They hardly bothered themselves to move out of my way.

As I entered Bodley's courtyard, I saw my two friends, Richard and Joe. They invited me to come cuddle with them. As they know, physical contact, especially cuddling, is an effective way of calming my nerves. I sat myself between them and leaned on Joe while Richard massaged my calves. "Are you ok, Hanna? You seemed annoyed at the activity." Joe said in his best concerned voice.

"It's hard to explain. But I feel better now!" I said. Even though I often fall into irrational pits of self-pity, I am willing to admit to myself when I am being silly. Of course they are my friends! They even know exactly how to make me feel secure and loved. I am just too silly to invite myself on any of their trips. It was a perfect end to a walk that started out being very troubling.  

Another trouble I had run into is that in the busyness of the week before, I had completely forgotten to sign up for a formal dinner! I emailed the PAs asking if there were any spots open and they said that it was too late for me to get any tickets as they have told the caterers how many people were going. I was upset but decided to go to the cocktail hour before hand and at least say hello to people and take pictures. I didn't think much of dressing up because I wasn't planning on going! But, my friend Melissa told me it would be really easy to sneak in... So I nervously came up with a plot. While everyone else was going in and getting seated, I went into the bathroom. I went out and went to tell the lady taking tickets that I was in the bathroom. She looked up at me suspiciously and let me in. She totally knew I was lying, and I am really glad I wasn't called out! And there was totally enough room and food for me.

With Sydnie

People said that I looked woodland fairy/hippy/cowgirl/Pollyanna but apparently (according to everybody) I pulled it off. Haha, awesome.

I got to sit by Kailey and Kylie! Because they live in Pembroke and I live in Kings I hardly get to see them anymore so it was great to catch up. Also, Kylie imitated my hair from the last formal! I'm really flattered. Hers turned out much better than mine had.

My friend Eric on the right and his visiting boyfriend Derek.

Duck face. 

Duck face attempt number two. I should never do duck face again. Frightening.

With my Egyptian friends Salma and Mariam. Candid shot. Ew. 

After the formal I went dancing. I had an amazing time! I was dancing with the Yale kids for a bunch, and then the BYU kids, and then the bros from PKP, and finally with Laura and Griffen for the rest of the night. It was amazing. The room was literally steaming and I was so sweaty that makeup started to run in my eyes and it stung! Dancing in England is odd. People don't grind here! Which, don't get my wrong, is actually really great. The clubs so far also have been playing really dumb songs, though. They played a Taylor Swift song for crying out loud! Taylor Swift! Who would want to club to that? I expected some good electric dance music! Oh well. Laura, Grif and I went to get food afterwards and we sat around and talked for forever. I really like those kids.

On Thursday we had a planetary lecture and private BYU session with Lord Reece about the Gates scholarship. I don't think I could ever qualify for it but I better start looking into some other scholarships for sure. Afterwards, I went to get food with Sydnie and we talked about feminist issues for way too long, and I still had to do laundry. When I finally got around to it, I brought my computer to write down some essays for Travel Writing. I put my laundry in and heard that there was a common room with couches and a tv so I wondered around the hostel (our laundry is out of kings and across the road so, when it isn't in the middle of the night like that night, I often have to carry my laundry through huge crowds of tourists) looking for it. I got to the top floor and found a balcony. I climbed out the window for a look and took a terrible picture (the one right below). I ended up staying in the laundry room and wrote one essay and then listened to U2.

On Friday night, a bunch of BYU kids wanted to go see A Midsummer Night's Dream. I was going to go with them but wasn't sure about the forty minute walk to an expensive play that isn't my favorite of Shakespeare's. What killed it for me was that I saw that play three years ago with Dame Judy Dench (Hippolyta) in London. There is no way that anything could top that! So I decided not to go. Instead, I got Kylie, PingPing, and Italian girl to go with me to Richard III. It was really good! I was a little confused and went home after to sparknote it a little and then ended up watching Henry V on Youtube. It was pretty great. 

On my way home I came across this wedding party in King's dining hall. The first time I walked by they were playing MC Hammer and then on my way back they were blaring Vanilla Ice with strobe lights. It was just so trashy compared to the rest of King's that I had to get a video. Unfortunately you can't really see the beauty of the campus to compare with the ridiculousness of the bad music and dance lights. If I were to get married in King's, I would have the classiest wedding party ever. That was just gross. MC Hammer and Vanilla Ice. Yuck. (Although I saw them together in concert in Orem Utah five years ago. Good times).

Next I was signed up for a 18.5 mile bike ride from Cambridge to Ely that Saturday. I wasn't sure if I was in good enough shape for it. I was but barely. I made it! I also wasn't the slowest. We rented these really cruddy bikes that had no suspension so my hands and my bum felt every pebble we went over so I got saddle sore really quick and it lasted all day. Also, my legs never got close to stretching out while paddling so my thighs became noodles towards the end. I didn't go very fast, but I wasn't the slowest thankfully. There were a few who were behind. I just enjoyed a leisurely pace. Also, we ended up taking the scenic rout that was 25 miles! I wasn't mentally prepared for that extra 7 miles. But, I made it!

Taking a break with a PA, Moses

Cute town!

I stepped through stinging nettles to pet these donkeys. They were super cute but I haven't been stung by nettle in what has to be nearly 20 years and it sucked.

The PA, Liam. I like how I caught him... adjusting.

Selfie

Nearly there!

Wooo! Made it!

A couple of us got food but then I realized that we had like no time to see the cathedral. We had to be on the train back to Cambridge by four to return our bikes so we didn't have to pay for a whole weekend with them.  I had a hard time rallying the crowds to go faster but we made it to Ely Cathedral and barely made it to the bus station. Sadly we didn't have a ton of time at the cathedral, but it was ok. I would have preferred the less scenic rout and more time in Ely but what can you do!

With Sydnie!

The inside wasn't great but the ceiling was awesome!

Biker thighs. Cuts, scrapes, dirt, tire treads, and grease 

After the train ride, the bike ride back to the bike rental place was killer on my bum and thighs. It was bad. That night I showered, ate, then stayed in to Skype with Josh.

Sunday the next morning was interesting. Fast and Testimony meeting wasn't crazy. Dr. Kerry and his wife, Dr. Kerry, taught Sunday School which was great. I've missed the Kerry family! (Sister Dr. Kerry and the kids were in Oxford to finish the Kid's school year). I was finally reunited with Lucy and it was great! I love those kids.

It was Relief Society that was really interesting. The lesson was on the talk "I hope you know we had a hard time" and the reasons for trials. The teacher said that she has a hard time with trials and why do we have to have them? Lots of ladies gave beautiful answers, but the teacher was still frustrated about it. She pretty much stated that she thought God tricked us into coming on earth to have these trials. Maddie from BYU made a wonderful comment. She said that she always pictured it as God taking each of us aside during our premortal life and telling us exactly what we would have to go through and then letting us decide. It felt so right when she said it! I don't think God tricked us at all! I think he told us exactly what we would come against and we still chose to come to earth to be perfected and gain bodies. He's more fair than we give him credit for. Still, the ladies were bickering about how hard life is and that they think God tricked them and it was basically really frustrating. I felt impressed the whole lesson to say that I thought we have trials because the whole point of coming on earth is to become perfected even like Christ. Christ is the perfect empathizer and sympathizer because he went through everything in the garden of Gethsemane. When we go through trials we become better at empathizing and sympathizing (I'm not really clear what the difference is between those two words). Even though we can't really understand what each other has been through completely, we can still sympathize better and help each other out. The teacher basically hated that answer and said "I don't think so. It's not like you could ever understand what I've been through!" I don't even know why I make comments in church sometimes. I was really frustrated and embarrassed. But I felt impressed to say it so maybe I got through to somebody.

I got an epic sunburn from the bike ride on my shoulders so after church I got some "after sun" lotion and then got ready for the cream tea party that I had signed up for. It was in the Salt Marsh rooms in King's College and it was beautiful! I had two amazing scones! Oh man I loved those. I bonded more with Chelsea, Maddie, and Mariah which was really nice. I told Maddie that I had actually really liked her comment and that it was spot on. She said she liked mine, too. We commiserated about how none of the ladies seemed to listen and how rude some of them were being. I talked to Mariah a bunch. We laughed about dating and life and growing up. She's a really nice friendly girl and I'm sad I haven't gotten to know her sooner. 

Matt Moen

Cute nook

Same window but no chapel visible. :/

Chelsea

Out the window

With Mariah, Sydnie, and Chelsea

Candid shot of Grif and Maddie

That night I relaxed and then spoke with Alissandre about how she is kind of dating this English LDS kid here named Tom. We're technically not allowed to date but I told her that I honestly didn't care what she did. I mostly care that people aren't breaking the rule of no proselyting which some have and it has honestly been driving me nuts. We don't want PKP to get a bad image of us because they have expressed that they don't want us to, so the fact that some people still are drives me crazy. I've said something to a few people and I think it has slowed down thankfully. I also said hi to Anna and welcomed Craig, Richard, and Joe home. 

This morning I had painting. I think Thomas, the painting teacher, really likes me which is nice! He's always complementing my work and I feel pretty good about it until I see how good everyone else's is. Oh well. It's still a ton of fun and I think I want to keep it up. I was going to go to Fitzwilliam museum today with Kailey but it's closed on Mondays so I will have to go another day. It gave me time to write my blog though! It was a good week with a little bit of a rough start.

Here's the third essay I wrote this weekend! It's the EasyJet essay and again, still a rough draft:

Easy Jet

Four friends and I had just enjoyed a week of traveling on the continent. Being that there were only five of us, things tended to get a little tense every now and then. Emily would especially get stressed out. There were two unpleasant sides of Emily that often came out. One was teenage Emily. The christening of teenage Emily occurred right after we landed in Prague. It was a bit chilly that day and dejected Emily stated "I hate the weather here. This is the worst vacation ever!" The boys and I looked at each other and I busted up laughing. She looked at my shocked. I said "I didn't know you were still a teenager, Emily!" But there was an even darker side of her, which I called menopausal Emily. This Emily was overly stressed out and angry. I would openly make fun of her for teenager Emily. I explained that "if you're acting ridiculous of course I'm going to make fun of you for it!" I would never openly make fun of menopausal Emily. I knew that if I did, I would unleash the Emily that I never wanted to meet.

Menopausal Emily came out in full force when we were getting ready to take an Easy Jet ride back into the United Kingdom from Venice. None of us were able to print our tickets from Oxford, and so we had to wait in an epically long line to get them with little time to spare. In Gatwick, we decided to try to go through the express line since we didn't have any luggage to load. The stewardess informed us a bit annoyed that we weren't supposed to be in that line but she would check us in anyways, so we decided to send one of the boys, Spence, to see if we could do that in Marco Polo as well. Emily felt extremely uncomfortable with this idea. "I don't feel right going through the express line." she said nervously.

"Why?" we asked.

"because we weren't supposed to in Gatwick! I would feel bad."

"Well we aren't going through the express line yet. We are only asking if we can." I said comfortingly.

"I still don't feel right."

"If they let us, then it's fine. If not, then we won't. It's worth checking."

"We know we aren't supposed to so I would feel guilty if we did."

I bristled at her illogical complaints but tried to brush it aside. It turned out, to Emily's relief, that they wouldn't let us use the express line in Marco Polo. We were on to the next faze of irrational stress.

"I think I need to measure my bag in their box." she said nervously.

"Why would you do that?"

"So, in case they ask, I can tell them honestly if it fits or not."

"Don't measure it unless they ask you."

"But then I would feel dishonest!"

"Just don't because if you tell them it doesn't fit, they'll make you check your bag and it costs like a million dollars. That's how Easy Jet makes most of their money."

"I'm going to measure it just in case." She was becoming increasingly agitated and annoyed.

"Just don't!"

"I would feel dishonest!"

I persuaded her against measuring it, although she was most certainly not happy about it. Sure enough, the stewardesses never asked us to measure our bags, and we were free to board our air plane. Thankfully it had been delayed and we had plenty of time to find our gate. While waiting, I daydreamed about having space to myself for once.